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Masturbation with Food

How To Masturbate with food
Ms. Delia’s just going to get all fun and silly with this, strokers.  Remember two weeks ago when we talked about jerking off in the shower and how there was no clean up?  Well, this week is going to be MESSY!

Food Masturbation

What kind of food can we use? 
Well, there was that movie where they used a warm apple pie, but everyone’s done that.  In doing my research this week about some weird things – ever thought about squid?  After you rip off the head and scoop out the inside, it becomes a hollow, fleshy tube.  If one of my stroker boys tries this, I REALLY want to hear about.  I don’t only want to hear about it, if you comment on it, and send me a picture, I’ll even give a free 10 minute call to the first one I get!

Freeze it up
How about something a little less exotic?  You can combine anal play with your stroking, and use ice cubes.  Take some ice, rub it all over your tight, puckered boy pussy, and then slowly insert them in.  Once they’re inside, you can start stoking for me.  I expect you to stroke and edge youself until they’re all melted, then, if your allowed to cum, you may.  If you’re in chastity?  Well, that’ll give a new meaning to blue balls, won’t it?

Cream pie
Another thing you can try is a nice cream-filled cake – you know, one of those long yellow ones, starts with a “T” and will survive longer than “cock” roaches?  Slide your hard-on into that creamy filling, wrap your hand around it and start stroking.  I wonder if that cupcake will stay together for 20 minutes or 5 edges.  That’s how long you’ll jerk off before you ask me for permission to shoot your load.  And if your one of my cum-eaters, just think how good it’ll taste – your jizz mixed in with all that creamy frosting!

No, not my breasts, you naughty boys.  Although I bet you’d all like that, wouldn’t you? Get a nice ripe cantaloupe or better yet, a honey dew (you’d like to taste my dewy honey, too I’ll bet!).  Cut a round hole in the side with one of those apple corers – make sure it’s just a little smaller than your fully engorged dick – and then start pounding away.  Remember the rules – 20 minutes or five edges, whichever take slonger, then you may ask for permission to cum.

What is your favorite way to masturbate with food? Keep the comments cumming!  I’m especially looking to that first “squid fucker”!

14 comments to Masturbation with Food

  • humbler

    It is not usually with food, but on it and forced to consume. A cupcake as frosting, a can of dog food and mac and cheese come to mind.

  • bill_williams0069

    How about with a banana? I first read about it when I was a teenager reading the Forum in a Penthouse magazine…

    You get a nice big long banana. Cut off the tip, and then carefully scoop out the insides so as not to break the skin.

    Fill it with hot water, pour out the water…

    then you know what to do…in goes your cock.

    You get to hear the squishing and suction…and it does feel really good.

    Only problem is, the banana usually splits open when I’ve tried it…I guess I haven’t picked one that is wide enough…but it still feels good.

    And its messy too…wasn’t that one of the criteria?

  • Empress Delia

    I LOVE the banana idea 🙂 Mmm, you continue to inspire me, bill!! I would love to see that banana…someday!

  • Empress Delia

    humbler, eating it is lovely, and I have a site for you to visit, actually two! (My blog with Layla, and we LOVE what you just said!) or which gives bits of info & connects to the cum blog. I know you will enjoy, and can even help by giving ideas & telling us your experiences!

  • Forrest Hicks

    I was in the store the other day and as I walked by the seafood case I looked to see if they had any squid, they didn’t but I’m not sure if I was more relieved of disappointed. On my way home I stopped at a local convenience store to get some tasty pastries. I went for the classic apple pie, a cream filled sponge cake and a cream filled cupcake.

    I had decided to take a cue from the first challenge and I was going to masturbate in the tub or actually sitting on the side of the tub to keep the mess to a minimum and to take a shower right after I was done. I got myself hard and started opening the pastries. I decided to start with the pie , I broke off one end of it so I could insert my hard cock into it like a jelly masturbator and found that it was an old pie and the filling was starting to get stiff, I made the best of it and started stroking with it , it was a unique sensation not quite scratching but enjoyable anyway. I went to the cream filled sponge cake and that was old as well, wont go to that store again, the cake crumbled to crumbs when I tried to insert myself into it but the filling softened up as I pumped away. Next the cupcake that was at least a little fresher, I figured stroking with it was not do any good so I put it on the head of my dick and twisted it around like a door knob the sensation was great. I went on with the other two cakes to finish off fortunately the cream filling made a nice lube.

  • PlungerBoy

    Food is not always my favorite way to masturbate…but I have tried lunch meats, pizza, cantalope, mellons, bananas, a chicken breast. My all time favorite was a thick slab of brisket. I was cleaning out the freezer and came across it and bamn I knew I had to try it. I thawed it out, cut a slit in the center lenght wise…set it on the top of the desk and pounded away. It was so juicey (ie wet), and the texture of the brisket felt so good. By far it was the best time I had with food.

  • PlungerBoy

    Food is not my all time favorite way to masturbate…but it is fun. I hav enjoyed lunch meats, cantelope, melons, pizza, chicken breast. The best fun I had with food was using brisket. I was cleaning out the freezer, cam across it and the though popped into my head that it might be fun to masturbate with it. I thawed it out, cout a slit lenght wise and pouned away. It was so juicey and wet, and the texture was so exciting, it was more than I could take. What helped put this over the top for me was the fact that Ms Melissa watched , coached and laughed at me while I went to town on it.

  • JaquelineHeidi

    The banana felt great! That was unbelievable, you have to try this!

  • Empress Delia

    Great job, Forrest!

    I am impressed by your perseverence!

    Makes me wonder about those convenience stores, though!!

    Ms. Delia

  • Empress Delia

    Thanks, plungerboy!

    Suddenly I have a craving for a brisket sandwich! I am impressed you could wait that long for it to thaw!!

    Ms. Delia

  • Empress Delia

    JacquelineHeidi 🙂

    I am glad you enjoyed the banana! Thank you for the feedback. I always love it when I can get people to try new things!

    Ms. Delia

  • […] of the time we Mistresses go for masturbatory foods – the melon, the jelly or cream-filled donut, Ms. Delia even mentioned SQUID once (Hey, you’re stealing my post! – Delia) – but there are more fun ways to play with […]

  • Empress Delia

    Ms. Christine wrote a post over on The Pain Mistress, the blog we share…

    Squid fucking for masturbaton was so hot!

    Ms. Delia

  • […] I’ve done some weird things with food – do you remember my masturbation challenge from a few years ago where I challenged you all to become squid fuckers?  Well, we don’t have to […]

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