What Does a Mistress Really Want?
Every now and again I get an IM or email from someone brand new to me expressing his undying devotion and total knowledge of how worthless he is. In this email I am often asked to take him on and totally control him as my pathetic slave. Does this get my attention? No!
So what does it mean to be subissive to a Mistress? 
I am fortunate to have a submissive husband who understand the nuances of my mind. I will break down how you too can please Mistress Delia during a sexy phone, Skype or Text session.
A Mistress Likes Intelligence
Speaking only for myself, when I interview a submissive, I look for one who is comfortable showing his intellect. I truly believe the most important sex organ is the BRAIN! Showing your intelligence by discussing your submissive limits and boundaries, and negotiating a sexy session is key! The ability to engage Mistres in a real conversation is crucial!
Mistress Expects A Dependable Submissive
I have an appointment policy, and I stick by it. I know life happens, and sometimes mistakes are made. But know that being on time and dependable are key to me. If I give you assignment, complete it. If you need to report to me once a week in a Google Doc or via email, make sure you do that. Being dependable says much about how seriously you take submission!
Mistress Enjoys a “Real” Person
Sure, lots of D/s phone sex is fantasy based. However, I have had some of the very best fantasy roleplay calls when the submissive has taken a little time to connect with me and tell me some details about himself. This reality is something I can introduce into the fantasy. Being able to be present in a submissive’s reality is an amazing feeling for Mistress.
Now for Ms. Delia, a sense of humor is great. I love to laugh! Creativity and the ability to impress me are also important. Finally manners and courtesy only add positives to our session!
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I couldn’t agree with this more, Miss Delia! I read it nodding my head yes–yes–yes, that’s right! I think the most important thing to me as a Mistress is seeing that the other person cares about my time. They must communicate if they are going to be late or if they have to cancel, and they take the time to act like an adult. Mistresses are quite reasonable (and wicked sexy-fun people) if they are treated with respect!
I couldn’t agree more Ms. Delia–intelligence, dependability, and the ability to have a real connection with someone beyond just their kinks is something I look for as well in a submissive. It helps intensify every aspect of a session, and leads to a much better experience for me and for the sweet subbie when we have that common ground and understanding.
Great post Ms Delia! One might believe control is the only “C” word that would matter in a D/s relationship but chemistry is important and a Mistress wants her sub to have the ability to do more than follow orders. I too love a sense of humor and the ability to hold an intelligent conversation.
Ms Delia- There really is something so disheartening and uninspiring about the fellas who start out an introductory email saying they will do “anything” for a Mistress, and will serve us however we want. As if we are not multi-faceted women with multiple wants, needs, and desires! You are absolutely correct in saying that intelligent communication is key to a D/s relationship, and I hope when callers see this they will understand it is not criticism so much as advice on how best to communicate. Thanks for getting the word out!
Ms. Delia , I really liked this post. You not only outline what you’re looking for in a sub, but what most of us want as well. I agree, the emails or IM’s asking if I can dominate someone or will I do this or that get old! Subs who honor time commitments and are serious about serving make session so much more fun.
Well put, Ms. Delia. Intelligent and dependability are two major ways to impress me. I get similar emails, and like you, they don’t really get my attention. I look for submissives with an understanding of kink, or at least a willingness to learn. Boundaries, limits, and negotiations are all a part of BDSM, and I find that type of discussion to be sexy in its own way!
Mistress Delia,thank You so much for such an insightful and thought provoking post on Your thoughts on introductory letters! i find it enlightening to read in the comments how many of Your cohort Mistresses share You views in their replies.
i am, however, humbly compelled, to confess my early experiences here at LDW, when i too wrote several of those letters You refer to to various ladies. i came here looking to fulfill a fantasy. i had my preconceived notions of the type of FemDom i was looking for, based on a few stories i had read, pornos i had watched, and many BDSM things i was very curious to try.
i found the Enchantrix site and began to peruse the various Mistresses’ sites and read a few of their blogs. As a curious novice, i thought an introductory letter like You mentioned to those who piqued my curiosity appropriate to facilitate my fantasy. In my ignorance of what a true D/s relationship looked like, i was merely trying to set the stage for a fantasy phone session, or several of them.
Little did i know i would become so enamored with the full spectrum of the kink continuum that i would eventually find a long term Mistress here and become a Lifestyle submissive.
Thank You for sharing here what You, and the others who replied here, are truly looking for in a long term D/s relationship. i wish i had this information years ago. It would have prevented a lot of frustration for myself and the hapless recipients of those letters. 🙂
Thank You for allowing me to share my limited notions and experiences from a client’s perspective. You truly are worthy of undying devotion from those submissive males who have the character qualities You so clearly provide here.
This is a great post Ms. Delia, and you are right… we aren’t all looking for the same thing. And as a submissive, our pets can and should get to know us and then they will know exactly how to please each of us in turn.
AWESOME post Ms Delia and I would expect no less from you!
A smart submissive is always lots of fun …. it’s much easier to be creative with someone that understands intersection of creative and naughty. And wow, what an intersection that is! OH YEAH! Personally one of the things I absolutely adore about you is your …… wait for it …… ~laughs~ ……
Excellent point, kneelcc!
Every beginner needs to start somewhere, so I hope comments like yours and the Mistresses here as well will encourage those reaching out to think more clearly about how they reach out and perhaps what they write 🙂
Thank you!!
Thank You Empress Delia for this very open, honest communication on how we, as those who desire, or at least claim to desire, to serve and please You, might best accomplish that goal. Submissives take heed! This one will!
There really is no other Mistress like you is there Ms Delia?
This post makes me remember why sessions with you were so fun, enjoyable and sexy.
I was like a connection…
Oh bill william:
It sure was a connection!!
Email me…be in touch. I do miss that 🙂
Appreciate the thought – I haven’t been willing to email since I don’t want to be wasting your valuable time…
Oh My!
bill william, I would love to hear what has been up…though I may have my own naughty thoughts about that! Do consider this a request from me to you for an email :). I mean that.