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One of my dear callers, lil Kev has a fascination with a viral video showing a naked man with a TINY penis at an outdoor concert. It is like an obsession, and I am fascinated by it! So this blog takes you into the headspace of the sadly hung man… Enjoy!

You know, something that, even if you wanted to, you can’t kick; something that, in a moment of absentmindedness, leaps uninvited into your head? No matter how much you feed it, that itch never seems to get scratched! That is what we call an obsession! Do you have a small penis? That could be the obsession of women everywhere. Do you like it when I play coy? “Oh, so sorry about that penis of yours, lil Kev! Mother Nature really did rob you, didn’t she? Poor little guy.”

An Extreme SPH Show

You find yourself at a rock concert, the sun is low in the sky so that everyone has been able to imbibe their drink of choice. And you, perhaps unwittingly, find yourself feeling loose and uninhibited. There is something amiss. You notice a crowd steadily building around you, and for some reason, you are the center of attention! Your inhibitions have long since left your consciousness. Is this a dream? Surrounded, you discover that you are stark naked. Not a stitch on you. It dawns on you: exactly WHERE are my clothes?

Then you remember the crown chanting over and over, “take it off, take it off.” You figure that you must have complied! What’s remarkable is that you are so calm despite your . . . well, . . . out-of-line if not deviant behavior. It’s like this is an out of body experience and you are looking down on the whole scene. And what a scene it is! You think, “gee, that fellow is ill-advised, parading around in his birthday suit before several hundred people.” But, “that fellow” is YOU.

What is particularly appealing to you are the dozens of women who peek, look, check out, get a load of, observe, watch, examine, and rubberneck. Pure catnip to you. The shy ones are tactful, but many are not. They zero in, do a double take, put 2 and 2 together, then grin, smile, chuckle, and laugh. Why the slowly evolving amusement? Maybe they are looking at your small penis!

SPH Amusement and Entertainment

Well, first is the entertainment value of a lone naked human in an island among suddenly captivated and clothed on lookers. It’s such an incongruous situation: you naked and EVERYONE ELSE clothed. And all the onlookers are pleased to witness the event. And the women are thankful that for once, it’s a MALE who’s wearing only a smile. But then, there’s the cherry on top: the object of attention is a male of a certain variety. One who resides in the “small-penised” category of the species.

Once you catch onto this joke within the joke, you begin to wonder: “what are the OTHER spectators are thinking and whispering to their friends?” Is it “gee, what’s going on?” Or “he’s naked! What, oh what was he thinking?” Or, “how long before the cops arrive?” And the inevitable, “my, my, my . . . he does have a small penis doesn’t he!” Or, “when will he realize that all this was not a good idea.” Or, “poor dude, arriving at work on Monday morning gonna be tough on this guy.” (Imagine all the water-cooler conversations!

Back to the show. Numerous women slowly walk toward you, pause, steady themselves by spreading their legs slightly, stand very still, aim their camera right at you, and snap, capturing your delightful act with photo after photo after photo. After a few minutes of this, you are dazed by the countless camera flashes that pop, pop, pop from all directions. You are so happy that you are the object of these women’s attention. You vaguely understand that they are girlfriends, wives, MILFs, young single girls, hot chicks, girl-next-doors, and nerdy girls; and the best part is that they are ALL interested in you!

You hear “click, click, click,” “ka-chick, ka-chick,” and the whirrrrr of zooming lenses, “snick, snick,snick.” You are roused from your stupor by a now very provoked crowd cheering on that epic babe who bravely strides right up to you and shakes your hand, only to linger for a split second glance between your legs. The crowd is catcalling; what are they saying? Something about cops? COPS! Hey, wait a minute, why do they have their handcuffs out?

Too late, you silly billy! You couldn’t resist, could you? You–and that “manhood” of yourswill soon beam into the merciless and enduring Internet, thanks to your decision to disrobe at an overcrowded, rowdy, and juiced up rock-fest . . . courtesy of those women who wanted to share with the world your in the buff 15 minutes of fame!

Tell me your obsession. Pick up the phone. Go ahead, sweetie. I’m waiting.