Safewords and Limits
Everyone has limits. Any sub who says he doesn’t have limits is not being truthful with himself or his Dominant. There are Hard Limits and Soft Limits. Some submissives don’t engage in cross-dressing, ever. Some are never going to suck a cock, no matter how much I tell them it turns me on. 
Those are hard limits. Some like light pain, but can not do high-threshold pain. Safewords are very important in any and all sessions for your mental and physical safety. Sometimes a triggering of some deep-rooted emotion can happen and you NEED to stop. You have to use a safeword!
Pushing limits can lead to a better understanding of what those limits are, and in some cases, can turn a soft limit into an “Oh my God, that was great! We need to do that more!” moment.
Pushing Limits with a Safeword
Preparation is the key. Sometimes, I just need to let out my sweetly sadistic side during our distance domination call. There’s a lot of talking beforehand, of what I plan on doing and which limits I intend to push. The most important part of that talk, however, is to make sure the submissive understands I EXPECT him to use his safeword. Let me tell you, limit-pushing sessions are some of the hottest. The submissive knows he’s given me everything he has and I know I’ve taken him to a new level.
You Need Safewords!
Even if you’re not pushing limits, even if you are engaging in play that you enjoy and you have done a hundred times before, you need safewords, and these can be discussed during your BDSM negotiations. If your Mistress is giving you a nice thorough ass fuck, what would you do if she hits the wrong spot, or you need more lube? I wouldn’t want you to continue enduring the pain, it might turn you off of strap-on play, and we can’t have that! You’re in bondage, and this time, she tied the ropes just a little too tight, and your hands and feet are starting to fall asleep? Or, she’s immobilized you in cling wrap, and you’re having trouble breathing? These are all things you have to make her aware of, so you can all have a great session!
What is your safeword for a scene? Let M. Delia know, and I will make sure you feel comfortable using your safeword in a session with me!
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This is great, Delia! I am in 100 % agreement with you on the subject of safe words and limits. Some people tend to think that safe words and limits are going to dampen a scene and prevent everyone involved from having fun. I know we both feel that is quite the opposite. Talking about expectations, safe words and limits are going to free everyone up to relax and enjoy the scene they are creating. I love when a submissive knows he or she is in good hands and can use their safe word with me if they need to. Your pets are very lucky to have you.
THANK YOU for this blog post Ms Delia — when someone says “no limits” in a total fantasy then that’s fine BUT if we are doing any real time play and the sub says no limits then I’m nervous and very cautious. That usually means an inexperienced BDsm playmate. I love newbies who are willing to learn and that often starts with a conversation like this blog post!
I liken this to wine tasting. I worked in the wine and spirits industry for a while, and while I was not in sales or specifically in the beverage part of the business (I’m an IT guy) I did get to go to lots of tastings and classes.
When wine tasting, you spit. At first, it’s awkward and you feel self conscious, but you have to spit. If you don’t it’s 10AM, you are at work, you have a buzz on, and in an hour you’re going to be trying vodka, or whiskey. It is a great industry and lots of fun, but you learn to spit.
BDSM is fun, it’s great fun, and challenging, erotic, love it. But you have to have a safe word, you just do. Maybe you don’t ever use it, but if you don’t have one it’s 10PM at night, you’re buck naked, strung up like a chistmas goose, with a dildo in your ass, a your trick knee locks up. You can suck it up and spend a week on crutches or use your safe word, take a minute to stretch and bend back over.
I adore this blog post and agree with the ladies thoughts
Would like to hear their thoughts on aftercare as well