The short answer is YES! Kink is healthy.  But read on. The old adage “sex happens between the ears” is so true!  We may be a visual lot but what our minds do with that vision is what really counts.

How often do you find yourself in a kinky situation or fantasy, derailed by your thoughts?  Everything’s great, you are aroused and enjoying yourself and then “screeeeech” left turn.

Being mindful and present keeps you grounded in your sexuality.  By letting your mind wander into memories both good and bad, you let the wonderfulness of the now slip away.  Don’t dwell on the past, don’t compare yourself today with who you used to be. Most importantly, do not let any past pain, rejection or repression deprive you of your present pleasures. This is easier said than done, I know.  But if you train your sexual brain properly you can learn how to be in the present and enjoy your sexuality. Healthy sexuality and healthy kink start in your mind and this can help healthy kink to form for you!

Be Present in your Kink and Sexuality

Being present also means asking for what you want.  You don’t need a partner to do this, we also consciously or subconsciously grant ourselves permission.  Be kind and patient with yourself and above all encourage yourself. What is it you want sexually? More intense orgasms….maybe you want to explore a kink you’ve always wanted to try.  Slipping on a pair of panties feels delicious but only if you allow yourself the full experience without judgment.

Be gentle but firm with yourself.  Carrying the scars of past hurts and allowing them to control your life now gives them power….power they don’t deserve.  I say think of the sexiest thing you can think of and then do it! The more you practice the more you train your sexual brain the easier it gets.   Give yourself the freedom to follow your instincts and desires. Give yourself unconditional permission to do what comes naturally, whatever that might mean to you.

Training Your Sexual Brain for Healthy Kink

Think about what may be your roadblocks.  It doesn’t matter if they are mental or physical, you can find a way to eliminate them. Now, think about what you want.  Not just “want” but how it would be if you could create the perfect scenario. Got it? The rest is the fun part of mindful healthy kink, what are you going to do to get there?  Start small, give yourself permission to freely explore without the weight of the past. If you can achieve this freedom for just one minute that’s success!  The next step is stringing those minutes together to create a new way of thinking and being.

A Safe Environment

Do you have a place that is a safe, an accepting place to display, explore and endulge in your kinks?  For me, it is fetish parties and kink events with like-minded people. At fetish events, I see the traditional BDSM folks, dressed up in leather, leading their submissives around on leashes. Lots of sissies, dressed sluttily in just panties, bras and thigh highs, or completely decked out in ball gowns!  And there were folks who go there because they might have an interest in only one thing, maybe a particular role play, bondage or maybe just spanking. The overall mood at these things though is YKMNBMK, Your Kink May Not Be My Kink, and everyone seems to know that’s okay.  So, that’s one reason for all you sluts, bottoms, sissy and slaves to at least try to get to one safe kinky gathering.

Kink and Fetish Classes

 Another way to learn healthy kink is through kink or fetish classes.  Even though I am pretty versed in all things kink, learn something at every kinky class I attend. Kink can make people’s lives healthier and happier! My favorite kink class to this day was put on by Laura Antoniu. She is a kinky author, and her most famous works are probably the Marketplace Series, but she’s also been a lifestyle player for more years than I can count.  And she is hilarious! She talked about making sure your subs are rewarded, and that’s important. When you please me or any other Mistress for that matter, when you are a very good sub, you expect to be treated well, don’t you?  I learn so much in kinky classes.

Are you Kinky?

It is an oft-forgotten fact that we humans are the only species that enjoy sex for pleasure. Consider the clitoris….oh yes please! Pleasure is its sole purpose, and aren’t we lucky? Or at least we ladies are lucky. I only point this out because I’m trying to get you to open up and think about your sexuality differently. To expand your horizons so you can enjoy yourself more. There’s nothing I love more than hearing your intake of breath as you melt into a new sensation or reaction that I’ve just taught you. Of course you won’t be an expert at first, but trust me, this is “homework” you’ll look forward to! Sex and masturbation for pleasure are an innate part of the human condition, it doesn’t have to be boring or mundane. And remember, your sexual fetishes are psychologically healthy. Feels so good, right? Together we are going to explore and figure out what turns you on and feels good!

Embrace What Turns You On

Being “kinky” is far too often made synonymous with being a “pervert”. Oh, really I say? I’d rather have some healthy kink and be totally connected with my sexuality than be so-called “normal” and just going through the motions. You only get one life, embrace whatever turns you on and have fun with it! Sit and think a minute, is there a kink that you’ve always wanted to try, a thought that gives you a “zing” right between your legs? I tell people all the time that thinking doesn’t make it real. The best sex starts right between the ears. So if the thought of your wife cuckolding you gets you hard in seconds, I can take you there and together we’ll make it hot, sexy and oh-so-realistic! Whatever kinks you’ve been thinking about let’s bring them out and play with them! And if you can’t think of a fantasy or scenario don’t worry! My rich and active imagination will create something new that we can explore together.

Get Your Kinky On With Phone Sex

Not sure where to start or how to get started? All you’ll need is your open mind, sexy imagination and a willingness to let me take you where I know you need to go.

If crossdressing or sissification is your kink, check out my blog dedicated to feminization.

If you are ready for an educational, sexy, and fun podcast, check out The Weekly Hot Spot Podcast brought to you by me and Ms Olivia!

Most of all, embrace your kink and be healthy!

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