Do you need to be disciplined? Or punished?
Discipline And Punishment Are Not The Same Things
The D in BDSM usually stands for Discipline. I get a lot of calls where the sub tells me that want to be punished, but what they really want is discipline. Discipline and punishment are two totally different things in the D/s dynamic, and I approach each differently. Discipline is meant to elicit a desired behavior, and punishment is meant to correct an undesired behavior. I may do some of the same activities for both, but I do them in different ways.
Discipline
I use discipline to reinforce a behavior I want. Prolonged stroking and teasing teaches my subs orgasm control. Chastity teaches them to keep their hands off their cocks so that that teasing is so much more pleasurable. When I first met Jack, he had the tightest ass – literally! It was a process to get one finger in there, and for a Strap-On Mistress like me, that just wouldn’t do! So, I put him on a anal training regimen to open him up and now he can take my biggest strap-on.
Punishment
Punishment corrects a submissive because his behavior displeases me. It’s not meant to be enjoyable, so I don’t use ruined orgasms or post-orgasm torture for punishment (especially not post-orgasm torture. You’ve already had a pleasurable orgasm, what’s the point?). I use a lot of impact play for punishment – spankings, cropping, canings – and the only reward is that I stop. Oh, and also because it just really appeals to my sadistic side! If that doesn’t work, I’ll just ignore you. And trust me, disobeying me is not the way to get my attention!
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Is it possible to get both ? Not at the same time . But they both would be great.
Hi Emily:
It IS possible to get BOTH discipline and punishment 🙂
Delia– I belong to Miss Delia and i respect her.
I do homo stuff for her and later I’ll be feminized for her.
Do i need punishment or discipline or both?
Such a good question, Alice!
I do believe you will get both and very soon!
Such wisdom and insight from an experienced, intelligent, and gorgeous Domme. Thank You Empress Delia for continuing to educate us on the scene, especially from Your perspective as an experienced Dominatrix. You’re too good to us! 🙂
Thank you heather.
I think you need a bit of both with a dose of degradation thrown in.
I enjoyed this post 🙂 I agree there are distinct differences between discipline and punishment, and at some point, most subs will experience both in their journey. I definitely appreciate you so clearly laying out what makes them different. Those distinctons are ones I occasionally need remind my subs of as well (though it does seem to come up most often with denial pets)
i could use good sound otk spanking from you make my naughty butt bright red untill i cant sit for long time i long be over your lap bare bottom as you spank me long and hard 100 times
Ms Delia ~ I think that this is a great post. SO many times people are confused by the terminology of what they want. I personally like to receive discipline spankings ~ and you give them so well. But, I honestly LOVE to give punishment spankings!! I just know your subs love everything you give them ~ even when they are not suppose to.