Communication is not topping from the bottom!

What is topping from the bottom? After my last post, I got some emails saying “If I tell my Mistress what I want, isn’t that topping from the bottom?”  In a word, no, it’s not.  It’s communication.  Just like all Dominas are not the same – look at the variety we have here at Enchantrix Empire – all submissives aren’t the same either.  Read my series on Submissive Types – and those are just the ones I wrote about.  I want to give you a quality call, and to do that, I need to know where your interests lie.

Negotiating a Call

If you’re calling me for the first time, I don’t know what you are into.  Are you a sissy who wants me to help her get all dressed up and become passable?  Do you want to engage in some reverse cuckolding with Jack and I?  Or maybe you’re a pain slut for Mistress who needs a spanking?  If we IM’d earlier, we might have discussed that.  Even if you’re a regular caller, you may have a huge list of fetishes you’re into – so which one do you want to explore tonight? Negotiating a call and discussing your interests is not topping from the bottom. It is great communication to help you get exactly what you need from our call together.

Clarifying During a Call

“Harder, Ms. Delia!”  Whether I’m flogging you or fucking you with my strap-on that is music to my ears!  Do you know how wet that makes me?  And yet, I have a good number of submissives who won’t tell me that they need more to get them to where they need to be because they think it’s topping from the bottom.  Want me to Queen you while I’m teasing your cock? You can ask.  The worst I can say is no…but I’d only say that if you haven’t quite earned it yet.  AND if you need to use a safeword EVER in any kind of session, it is not at all topping from the bottom. It is you communicating that you need a break or to stop.

So what IS Topping From the Bottom?

1.  It is when you try to direct the scene from beginning to end. “Okay, that’s enough spanking, can you stroke my cock now?”

2.  It is telling your Domme what you want done, how you want it done, for how long.

3.  It is arguing with, contradicting  or saying “NO” to your Domme without a  legitimate reason.

4.  It is ignoring or pretending not to hear your Domme’s directive.

Communication that is open and honest is good for a scene.