Pump For Ms. Delia

Might Be Your Last Chance To Jerk Off!

You are good, so give yourself a hand!  Are you up for a little self-intimacy? Go ahead, caress yourself.  Let’s see you do some serious self-loving, some self-fucking.  You are now, fucking for one.  Fuck yourself.  Or maybe fuck by yourself.  Pretend you are in public: show everyone, show the crowd, show the audience how you self-deal.  What’s your favorite card game?  Solitaire.  Yes, it is, just like solitary sex is your favorite form of sex, right?

I Give You Permission To Stroke

Make today awesome, masturbate.  You know what you are?  You’re a goon.  Question: When is it a good time to masturbate?  I say ANYTIME is a good time to masturbate.  My name may be Ms. Delia, but from time to time, I want you to address me as “Enabler Delia.”  You’re going to pump your life away . . . And love every minute of it!

You’re Not A Real Man

A real man would track me down, rip off my panties, and fuck me.  You, however, are perfectly content with heavy breathing induced by masturbation!   You, slut, are a FISTFUCKER.  When people shake your hand, do they know that’s your handpussy?  Oh, that’s right, you’re a lefty! Keep stroking, and you’ll qualify as a “Pump Pig.”  Would you like to be a Pump Pig?  Fuck your hand.  After all, it’s Fist Fuck Friday.  Oops, it’s not Friday.  Let go. Stop, Cease.  You feel alive when you stroke, don’t you.  C’mon,

pump

p-u-m-p,

p–u–m–p,
p—u—m—p

p—-u—-m—-p

Aren’t you tired of all the effort, energy, and skill it takes to get laid?  Of course, you are!  Better to simply masturbate: that’s just so much easier, don’t you think?