Can one be submissive when he has no Mistress?
Oh yes! For most of your life you have had an inkling that you were more comfortable serving others, and pleasing people, and you have done those behaviors that feel right and comfortable. In adult life through reading and general experience, you have found a name for this, and that name is submissive. At this point, most research wildly on the internet, and become overwhelmed. Well, let me tell you how to be true to your submissive self even when you are not owned by a Mistress or when you are between BDSM relationships, or even just navigating through the scene for the first time.
Serving and Pleasing
On a daily basis you can serve and please! Say you are married, and desperately want your wife to be your Domme, but she is ultra vanilla, and this will never happen. Well, you can still be submissive to your wife. Cook, clean, take over the things she dislikes doing. Get special things for her. Treat her like she is your Queen on a pedestal. Only seek sexual pleasure FROM her, so no unauthorized masturbating. It is easy to submit if you have the right mindset and attitude!
Respect Verses Trust in BDSM
RESPECT must be earned is something I hear all the time, and it makes me cringe! Dominant or submissive, there should always be an undercurrent of respect for other people. As a submissive, you can be true to your needs to please and serve by doing simple things like opening doors, running errands, and of course addressing people properly and politely. In a BDSM scene, you do not have to call every dominant woman Mistress, especially if she is not yours. Generally Ma’am is fine.
What should be earned I TRUST! Trust is the key to every successful BDSM relationship.
I am always happy to answer questions when you are new to the Lifestyle. Never be afraid to ask!
What a perfect topic Ms. Delia! I know so many men who wish to serve and are frustrated because they don’t have a partner. There are many men in my office who give off that vibe and I want to help them! Now I know how, oh boy will Monday be fun….
🙂 Oh yes, Ms. Layla!
You can help those men discover their true submissive nature. You are quite good at that!
🙂 Ms. Delia
I’m single but I have you, Ms Olivia, Ms Melanie, Ms Violet, & Ms Cathy as my mistresses. Just have to find/make time to call. I know once I call things will be different with all of you dressing, teasing, kissing me. I can’t protest with the 5 of you in charge and control of me. Also how can I with all of you having me wear bra/panty all the time:( the changes you did to me with hairless, smooth , soft, petite body with curves arnt going away. With lipstick kisses.
Now I have breasts and they hurt really bad but when I have bra on pain goes away. I hate to admit it but the 5 of you will be in charge of me for long long long time.
Nicely said, Peter!
We Mistresses really do control you 🙂 Making you soft and feminine is our goal!! 🙂 Happy lipstick kisses!
Ms. Delia
Ms Delia, thank You! Great post! I just learned something new from You again!
Thank You Ma’am! 🙂
Yes, Delia.
This is something I have noticed about myself, and unfortunately it is a character trait some people sometimes take advantage of, I have to watch out for that.
I am submissive even in non-sexual contexts.
Someone needs help loading their truck after buying bags of potting soil or whatever, they don’t have to ask – I’ll offer.
Especially women. But that’s not because I want to get in their pants, many of them I’m not attracted to in the slightest.
And elderly, elderly there is not a gender preference in who I assist. They built the country I enjoy, I owe it to them.
Last time I was in Bay Area, on way back home we stopped at fast food. I went out for a cigarette and when I was ready to come back in, I saw an old farmer and his wife slowly coming towards the door. They were quite a ways away but I waited so I could hold the door open for them, and the man hugged me. I almost cried.
My desire to help people can become a problem, e.g. I had a neighbor who asked if she could borrow some milk for her k*ds cereal, she said she got paid in two days but was out, I gave her some milk and volunteered some cash and that was a mistake, she started regularly asking, and she even became angry when I finally had to put a stop to it. But maybe not a mistake because I would hate for someone in genuine need I could help to go without just because of fear that the same will happen. But maybe in that kind of case it is better to refer them to a church, I don’t know.
But anyway yes, I find it very rewarding to help people when I can and I look for opportunities to do so. And I believe that is part of my natural submissive nature. Not that dominant people don’t help others as well, they often do, but I think it is different root desire behind the motivation (not that one motive is better than another, just different).
I think there are many ways we can exercise our natural submissive behavior and desire, even when no kink is related, and we end up feeling better for it. And the world ends up being a better place for it too.
Such a wonderful topic Ms Delia. Many of the things You mention i have always considered under the heading of good manners and being a “refined southern gentleman. i must confess though, there is such a blissful sensation when i find the perfect partner who appreciates these efforts in other than a plain vanilla sort of way. i am truly thankful You have seen beyond my gentile exterior into the naughtiness of my soul and gone to such wonderful depths to help me explore the spumoni flavors of kink we both enjoy together. Even though i may be single in my daily life, we both know who owns me and controls my sexuality, Thank You for being my Mistress and keeping me feeling so secure and worthy of Your attention. Oh, and i must also share publicly how much i just love when You give me a chance to make You proud by showing Your Dominant Mistress friends how well trained i have become under Your tutelage. 😉
You are very welcome, jemmie!! 🙂 Glad you learned!
Great post, AliceWonder!
I think you have a good balance with being just a good person, and also having submissive qualities. I think those two things play well together! I think it is great that you are chivalrous! Kudos on helping others. I know this natural submissive nature you have is pretty wonderful!
I think if more people paid it forward whether they were Domme or sub or whatever… the whole world would be much better! I mean, we all could use a little more niceness!
🙂 Ms. Delia
Thanks so much for the comment, kneel!
Yes! Just being good and kind is a wonderful thing. I do find that those behaviors work well with (but are not exclusive to) submission indeed!!
🙂 Spumoni kink flavors!! Oh yes yes yes…and YUM!
I am proud of you!
Ms. Delia