What submissive type are you? How do you show submission? Over the next few Wednesdays, we will explore different types of submissive, so let’s dive right in with the bottom submissive!
Submissive Bottom by geier
The Bottom
A bottom does not necessarily have to be submissive, except in the context of a scene. They may be in to the BDSM lifestyle only because they enjoy receiving sensation from the Top. They like being on the receiving end of the hand, the flogger or the strap-on. They like the feelings they get, which are administered by the Top or Dominant.
The Bottom May Not Be Submissive At All
If they are not “classically” submissive they probably let me know exactly what they want before or during the session. The act of bottoming may include things like tease and denial – that is a pretty powerful sensation after all! Or it may not be sexual at all. They may just want a spanking, some CBT, or want to feel electricity coursing over and through their body. A sissy who is also a bottom may just be looking for someone who can appreciate how slutty, sexy or feminine they look. A Top/bottom relationship may not have any power exchange, and might be more of a partnership between the two players. They each get something out of the play, and that’s all they are each looking for.
Oh Mistress Delia, how awesome!
1) I’m definitely a bottom!
2) I’d rather be submissive (my belief), but if my partner can’t or doesn’t know how to take control, I’m only to eager to take control!
3) that first guy, I was with, was the most dominate, I’ve had! But, I really want, to submit completely! Where the guy fucks me hard, and I just have to adjust my body, and submit! Because, he is in control, and won’t stop, till he’s satisfied!
4) other times, I just want to take control and be in control! I’d have to face fuck all off these guys with Priscilla! While, remaining the one on the bottom, or getting fucked! If my sub, would beg maybe, I would reward him with a toy fuck!
vanessa –
I would have to say you would switch a bit, but love the feelings of being a bottom! I am sure you will find out more about yourself on Wednesdays here 🙂
Ms. Delia
So I could get into a little sensual spanking, but nothing too serious. I like tease and denial. Although this is something to think about, it has only been self administered and controlled. I discovered the countdown timer/shutoff on my iPod while I was doing some denial. I would come up with a random number before a stroking session then I would set the timer for that many minutes. I would play what ever I was interested in that night on my iPod, usually porn but sometimes just some music. When the timer shut it off I was done. I did not matter to me where I was in terms of sensation, on an edge, riding an edge or backing off from an edge, the timer stopped, I stopped.
Vanessa makes a point that I need to think about. Having a partner, this is something I have never had. So in real strict sense of description I am neither a bottom or a top.
I look forward to reading the following posts and conveying my thoughts and musings about me.
I’m going to be following these with interest, Ms. Delia.
I’m not what you call ‘classically’ submissive and I’m trying to get a grip with all the terminology.
Specifically a top and bottom relationship without power exchange. Is this basically two people getting together just so they can ‘feel’ the sensations that they crave with no actual connection between them or taking any D/s roles?
A bit like a one night stand or a sex buddy?
Mistress Delia,
I prefer to have my Mistress take total control. The feeling of losing control to a Mistress is heavenly! I will be looking forward to you Wednesday blogs to better learn about myself.
Thomas
Forrest,
Great points. I do wonder what about this would change if/when you do have a partner in kink. So much of what you do has been self directed, but to a point. I say this thinking of how we have interacted with the edging challenge I posed here for you. I think you are connected to partners emotionally, though maybe not physically… Had you thought of it that way?
Ms. Delia
Hi peterteasetoy!
I worte these with much interest and thought, and am glad you will be following! I think a lot of terminology will overlap a bit. You may find that you fit into much more than one category, and even a category that I did not write about.
I think bottoms sure could be like one night stands, just hooking up for the sensations, but you could also just be a bottom in an otherwise vanilla relationship. I think the bottom could fit into many scenarios. The main key is that it is more about the sensations received thanthe power exchange. I have an example.
At a play party once, a man was being teased and spanked by a woman. He directed her a few times during the scene, as in saying “Hit me here, this way” and a couple of other comments. He was the bottom getting those sensations, so his goal was to direct the top who was giving those sensations. As there was no power exchange it was not topping from the bottom.
Ms. Delia 🙂
Hi Thomas!
I am glad you will be looking forward to Wednesdays! I love taking control from one who is able to give it up. Do let me know what you learn about yourself 🙂
Ms. Delia
I find your thoughts on sensations recieved, in your reply to peter tease boy very interesting! It’s not topping from the bottom? Do enlighten me sometime, when I call!
Ms Delia, that is a very good description of me. I do get emotionally attache, but I have no interest in a physical relationship. Sex is a mystery to me, I have never felt a sexual attraction to any person. This is something that took a long time for me to figure out. Once I did I realized it is who I am and have become completely comfortable with it.
Hi vanessa:
If you are a bottom playing with a top, the goal is not that of power exchange. The goal is to be a recipient of sensation/activity given by the top. The activity and sensation can be discussed to give maximum enjoyment for both.
In this type of scene, simply because there is NO power exchange, any discussions are not topping from the bottom 🙂
Ms. Delia
Forrest –
Thanks for sharing! Are you asexual? That fascinates me! I think I have seen that emotional attachment and friendship here and on Enchantrix Empire. I often see you respond very positively to Mistress directions and suggestions. You have purpose here, and maybe that makes a difference for you. This is pretty cool!
Ms. Delia
Yes, I am asexual, although I prefer to think of it as solosexual. It was a long and interesting trip for me before I figured that out. When I did it was almost like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was almost like my life before that moment was a lie and the truth set me free. Thank you for your kind words.
Forrest –
I am so interested. In my kinky world, I can honestly say I have not met a solosexual. I am curious about the trip. I am sure it was interesting!
🙂 Ms. Delia
I think I fall between the 2, Ms. Delia.
There is a lot of kink that holds no appeal to me and that I have no interest in, yet I do like power exchange. So it tends to mean a clearly, and probably narrowly-defined roleplay wherein the Mistress takes charge of me.
For sure GODDESS DELIA,
I am not this type. I would be the one who is totally and completely owned by you and you Only…
That is so true, worthless binoy!
You need humiliation as well.
Ms. Delia
That makes sense, peterteasetoy!
I don’t think I have to ask the “theme” of that roleplay now do I? 😉 Keep reading. Maybe one submissive type this month will resonate with you.
Ms. Delia
I think the “theme” of that roleplay resonates strongly with the both of us, Ms. Delia!
Yes, I’ll keep reading!
Peterteasetoy
What would you most love to roleplay?
Ms. Delia
Well Ms. Delia, the details vary greatly and I have a library full of fantasies in my head. But at the very core, it’s a hot woman, enjoying using her sexuality to tease and excite me, often when I’m in a position (physical/psychological/moral, etc) where I’m unable to do anything about it!
You? Fantasies? Helpless and teased?
Oh my! Who would have thought that!
Ms. Delia
Yes I know, it is surprising isn’t, Ms. Delia!
This is a great series of blog postings Ms Delia. I am enjoying them. The topic of types of submissives has been of interest to me for years, of course. I was reading the comments and was glad to see the term “asexual”, or “solosexual” as Forrest terms in. This is a subject we have not covered in LDW blogs. One of my dearest female friends was a solosexual. For years I tried to set her up with guys, then presumed she was a lesbian, finally discovered that she was asexual. We had a great discussion about it and talked about it a few times over the years. Thank you for this great series Ms Delia!
Hi Ms. Violet!
Your comment was very inspiring to me. Forrest is the first solosexual I have known, but I have been researching the term, and certainly have more to come on this topic. Thank you for telling your friend’s story!
Ms. Delia
Thank you Ms Violet for sharing about your friend. I have never met another solosexual myself and it was a long voyage to get to the point of self acceptance.
This was a wonderful comment from Ms. Violet!
I love how people can share their stories and how wonderful it can be for others to learn that they are not alone. Your voyage sounds wonderful, Forrest, and I am happy you have reached a place of acceptance.
Ms. Delia