The Slave
Being a BDSM Slave brings submission to a new height. There are many who think that a slave is not a submissive, because a submissive does not give up complete control, while the slave does. I think being a slave is just another level of submission, perhaps the deepest. With this kind of power exchange, I do have to mention caution.
Total Power Exchange
I have mixed feelings about slavery verses submission. On one hand the slave is completely devoted and loyal, but on the other hand, I question this type of “doormat” loyalty. I think a slave who gives up total control is not being completely honest. If you gave up complete control, you would have no limits, and that’s just a recipe for disaster in any context. There may be no safewords and without limits, I feel total slavery can become dangerous.
Surrendering to Mistress
While there is a side of caution, I do recognize the deep seeded feelings of slavery, and how they make a submissive feel whole and secure. I believe even a TPE (total power exchange) relationship should be negotiated. Within those agreed upon limits however, a slave must surrender completely and is in complete control of their Mistress. They feel completely owned, and the pleasure of the Mistress is the only thing they are concerned about. If you identify as a slave, you may only feel complete when with your Mistress.
I have enjoyed your breakdown of submissive types, Ms. Delia.
The slave label is a difficult one to gauge due to the context of the D/s relationship, but I do understand the overall concerns from both subs and Dommes in regards to these situations. I think the functional Ms/slave relationship is usually one that began as a loving but less intense D/s relationship and eventually grew/evolved to a mutual TPE situation. From my experiences communicating with other subs/Dommes, the unloving slave situations rarely end happily.
I think overall there are a few primary reasons for reluctance towards this type of arrangement. I believe situations like this are a lot more strenuous on the Domme than on the sub/slave. I believe that most Dommes want to be with a submissive that has value as a person and reducing them to a slave state robs them of any individual personal value. It is difficult to build enough trust to feel comfortable entering such an arrangement.
At the same time, I feel there’s a certain level of intensity that can only be reached when there are very few formal limits. As Dommes change over time i have come across many that have eventually wished for a situation of meta-consent. That is, he consents to anything she may choose to do but trusts that she will make decisions that are safe and sane. When a relationship does reach this level it can be exhilarating. Any gestures on the sub’s part may be appreciated but they are no longer a gift; a sub cannot offer what is her’s to freely take. I know several Dommes that thrive in this way.
From a submissive standpoint, I have found that once trust has been established, the removal of limits does a lot for my subspace since there’s always that fear of what might happen… that she might do something well outside of my comfort zone. That fear tends to feed my submission and also eliminates some of the residual brattiness that subs can sometimes drift into, especially in the first few days following an orgasm.
That being said, I can only truly submit to a woman I love, so I’m not sure which type of sub I could most closely relate to.
Most of your posts on submissives leave me wondering if I fit into that catagorie, this one, I know I do not!
That is so true, vanessa!
I have known quite a few BDSM slaves, and there is a very specific mindset to this label.
Ms. Delia
What a great post, fur sissy!
The slave relationship is not for all. You do bring a good point that it is strenuous on the Domme. I would also agree personally that I want a submissive (well, I have the submissive) who has a strong sense of self, and does not need me to define him.
Submitting to a woman you love is wonderful!
Ms. Delia 🙂
Thank you, Ms. Delia.
I’ve thought more about this over the past few days and how I relate to this as well as other roles. I think I have enough self-esteem to feel like I would not be filling my full submissive potential in this role but also believe I would be happiest with a Domme whose nature would grant her the capacity to take the role of slave owner, even if it was only for limited periods of time (e.g. 1-2 weeks).
I have known a few Dommes that will put their subs on periods of “high protocol” where the sub is reduced to more of a formal slave role for punishment or if she was feeling more dominant and wanted to “unleash the beast” for a weekend. This seems to work well for those Dommes since 98% of the time they don’t want to be bothered by their sub asking to use the bathroom, but that leaves that 2% of the time where they want total control over anything and everything that he does.
Something just “does it” for me when I know a woman has some deep, dark urges that she is afraid to let surface full time, but occasionally lets them out to feast every now and then.
I hope that makes sense.
I still don’t have the slightest clue which category most closely describes me though. 🙂
GODESS DELIA do you think i am this kind of a slave..
I think i will do anything that you want of me…
I agree with your comments about a ‘doormat’ slave.
I feel that in that sort of relationship too much is put on the Mistress to be always and constantly driving the relationship. The submissive should have some freedom to show his devotion by being able to surprise and please his Mistress by his own initiative.
On one of the other Mistress’s blogs somebody posted about a ‘Knight Submissive’ which seems to fit me well. Likely chaste most of the time, in love with the Lady, sworn to defend her in any circumstance needed. Might be allowed to pleasure her physically (though unselfishly) if so desired; not one to be treated with contempt, but expected to be quite obedient. Always eager to help a damsal in distress, even when the damsel is actually more capable than me.
I think i fall in this category. Would do you think GODDESSS….
Oh yes, binoy!
I believe you certainly are a slave personality. Oh yes! 🙂
Ms. Delia
peterteasetoy –
I will say this once… I LOVE INITIATIVE!! I think you’re right. I also like what you have to say about the knight submissive. I would love to read it.
Ms. Delia
Oh binoy –
Such a pathetic slave you are. I know you would do your best to do anything I commanded of you. I might make it hard to attain, and I might make it so you fail and remember that you are just a useless slave…
Ms. Delia
Hi fur sissy!
I would agree that your self-esteem is high enough to be a slave, and that is such a GREAT point. High Protocol is so very serious. I can count only a few times where I ever have had to do that. I think your definition might be different, and sounds like more fun!
I understand what “does it” for you. Those dark urges can be so sexy once in a while.
Ms. Delia
Thank you, Ms. Delia.
I know there tends to be a lot of backlash towards the slave role in general. I think there is some misconception in general based upon my experiences discussing it with others on the internet. As a whole I believe that most slaves take a great deal of pride in serving and that they were chosen to be owned by their Mistress. The Mistresses I have known generally portray their slaves as trophies to the outside world, and while they may downplay these sentiments to the slave, to others they can represent prowess as a Domme. It takes a lot of mental discipline to subject oneself to this role and I don’t think most people are capable of doing this (just as there aren’t many individuals that are disciplined enough to be a butler or live in maid). As for the doormat role, I think this tends to surface either because the Mistress wishes for this kind of relationship or when the slave has been broken to the point where they merely try to meet her expectations and have stopped trying to exceed them. The latter of these cases can be problematic in any D/s relationship no matter what status the sub holds.
As for my reference to high protocol, it can be mentally taxing on the sub but I think there are times when that arrangement is temporary and it can help bring out the best in a sub. If the sub is put through a period where they are a bit on edge and a bit off balance they can tap into the essence of their submission and the mental state returns to the basics: surrender, respect, attention to detail, ritual, etc. I do think there is a big difference when this situation is instigated “for fun” rather than out of anger or as a punishment. When it’s for fun it can bring back the jittery uncertainty of when submission was still new to the sub and they were terrified of screwing up.
Take care.
fur-sissy –
I so agree that serious subs do in fact take a great deal of pride in their skills and position. I do also think when broken, a slave can become a doormat. To me that is undesirable.
High Protocol can be taxing on both parties. I like what you say about using it for fun…to bring back the newness.
Ms. Delia
Thank you, Ms Delia.
It can be fun every now and then for short durations, e.g. A weekend. When subs become overly proficient at their regular tasks there is a tendency to get lazy and they may become comfortable meeting expectations rather than trying to exceed them. This loses site of the feelings that were so strong early on in the relationship, especially during courting or a trial period. IMO, a sub is at their best when they are giving their all, they just sometimes need a little kick start to get/stay in that mindset.
Out of the couples that I know that do this regularly for fun, it seems almost every time both Domme and sub come out of it learning something new about each other and frequently use this to come up with new activities to integrate into daily life.
Thank you, Ms. Delia.
It was on Miss Iris’s *squirm* blog. Here is the link
https://www.kinkystorytime.com/pets-and-slaves-and-toys-oh-my-role-playing-styles-for-submissive-men/
Thanks peterteasetoy!
I will enjoy that sexy link!!
Keep squirming 😉
Ms. Delia
Hi fur sissy!
I love the comment about other couples. It is true, oh so true when Domme and sub learn about each other and even try something new that it can become integrated into everyday life or become a favorite activity.
Ms. Delia
You’re welcome, Ms. Delia!
Yes Miss Violet *squirm* and Miss Iris, *squirm* amongst others, are keeping me very squirmy!
🙂 How fun peterteasetoy!
I think making you all squirmy would be excellent fun! Enjoy all that squirming!
Ms. Delia
Really? Maybe Nurse Delia could have some fun with me!
Oh peterteasetoy, please report to exam room one…
I will be waiting for you.
Ms. Delia
Oh, right! Reporting as instructed, Nurse Delia!
Ms. Delia hands peterteasetoy a flimsy way too short paper gown. “Put this on and we’ll be ready for your…ahem…exam”
Isn’t that a little large to be a rectal thermometer? 😀
*teasetoy gets aroused and distracted by Nurse Delia’s cleavage as she hands him the gown* “Huh? Oh, er, yes Nurse Delia!”
Lol!!!
Fursissy, sometimes you crack me up!!
Oh, teasetoy…just put this short, flimsy gown on. No worries about the opening in the front…it is, ummm…necessary for my examination!
ROFL, fursissy!! That does make me laugh!!
🙂
*squirm* Oh, okay!
An opening in the front? Well, if you day so Nurse Delia!
Oh, it does seem to be a rather large opening!
Empress, may i put on a flimsy gown and be examined too? i didn’t know you did exams! i just love being examined by a female!
Absolutley, vanessa!
I think a flimsy gown will look great with your chastity device!\
Ms. Delia